Jessica Simpson was a memory! After Tony Homo dumped her, that was it. No more Country records, no more any kind of records, no more movies, no TV shows, she was done!!! All we had to do was ride out the inexplicable rise to fame of the Kardashians and America would be relatively twat free.
But NOOOOOO!!! John Mayer's gotta talk about how Simpson is "sexual napalm." Initially, you'd think that meant she gave him Chlmaydia, or some other form of burning. But Mayer's racist wiener loved that blonde douche calling sex with her like crack cocaine. Also, not a favorable comparison.
So thanks to that dick, Simpson is back and she's on fucking Oprah!
Sugartits gets on there and gripes, "I don't want people to know how I am in bed." And then with a hair flip announces, "But my phone hasn't stopped ringing. And it looks like famous guys want to fuck me again." Good for you...Chunks!
And then she proceeded to talk about the infamous Mom jeans' incident and blah blah blah blah!!
If she starts popping up in shit again, because of Mayer, I'm gonna be super pissed! F U John Mayer, F U!!!
She's got a reality show coming? SON-OF-A-BITCH!
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