Saturday, March 27, 2010

What Does This Word Make You Think Of?

Well, if you're not a 12-year-old boy, or me you probably think of a turkey or if you saw it on a menu at Wawa, a turkey sandwich. (Wawa incidentally is the best convenience store chain in the country. But that's a whole blog in and of itself. I hate when people say "in and of itself!")

If you are like me or a 12-year-old boy, this word would probably make you think of a woman performing oral sex on a man.

When you go into a Wawa, they have a full deli, and when you order a sandwich you use a little touch screen thingee. It prints out a receipt with a number and some dipshit starts making your sandwich. Just so you know what I'm talking about.

As I start my sandwich ordering process, I notice the word "Gobbler" on the menu above the touch screen and I just start giggling to myself. For an instant I was transported back to tenth grade (Or as our Canadian friends would say "University." Hi-Oh! You see what I did there? ((I only write this blog to amuse myself.)))

Where was I? Yes... I was standing in Wawa, giggling over the word "Gobbler" and thinking of the first time my wiener was inside a young lady's mouth. Tenth grade, I was 16, Kristina was 18, and it was in a pool. She was underwater! It lasted about five seconds, but my life had started to change in so many ways. (Incidentally, this is the same girl I lost my virginity to and one time we did it in her old school VW Beetle behind a Chuck E. Cheese. Then we passed out and the cops woke us up at like 3AM. But I digress and I do that a lot in these stupid blogs of mine. Although I already mentioned I only write them for myself. And some guy named Glitch Mob and a girl in Brazil.)

As I was daydreaming about my first teen BJ, I was rudely roused by some man standing behind me. "Are you gonna order a sandwich buddy?"

"Oh yeah," I muttered as the good-times-past vanished from my head and I started ordering my sad sandwich. Then the man behind me starts talking to his son, a kid about 10-years-old.

"What kind of sandwich do you want?" the man said. (My hand to God!) The kid says, "I want a Junior Gobbler Daddy." Needless to say, I started giggling again. And I just thought, someday soon kid you'll get a real Junior Gobbler. And if you're lucky the girl, or guy will call you "Daddy."



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