An Open Letter To The Producers Of Pornographic Movies

Dear Porno Industry,

Can you please produce a movie with girls that look like Julia Mancuso and Lindsey Vonn?

Here's what I'm thinking:

Linds and Jules are racing down the hill, and the loser has to go down. When they get there, it's a dead heat and an argument ensues. Little cat fight turns into full on lesbo fantasy. Forced kisses. Clothes being ripped off. Nude wrestling. Some hardcore munching. Everybody's A gets licked. Little trib action. And then they order some pizza. Dude shows up. Various 3-way action positions. End credits.

I'd pay $2 to watch that online! Some possible titles:

Ski Sluts

Ladies DOWNhill

Super G-Spot

Wiener Slalom

I like Wiener Slalom.

P.S. Don't put Vonn in one of those granny style bikinis (See above). Seriously, is that picture supposed to be hot, or is that an adult diaper? Julia, on the other hand, you are a vision!!!!