4.21.13

On April 21st I listened to Bad Religion Stranger Than Fiction, Refused The Shape Of Punk To Come, and The Virginmarys King Of Conflict.

The current state of Alternative Rock is like a pair of pruned up balls. Yeah, there’s still some moisture in ‘em, but they’re not getting anybody pregnant and NOBODY is gonna be putting them in their mouth anytime soon.

I was recently listening to the satellite music service’s idea of Alternative on two of their channels and literally became ENRAGED! It’s all pussy dance shit. There’s nothing wrong with pussy dance shit, in the right mood I love pussy dance shit, but when did that become Alternative? Alternative Station One is playing a band called The Mowgli’s and their little hippie song starts off with the line, “I've been in love with being in love” and it just makes you want to punch a hole right through the fucking planet! Get this, it’s called “San Francisco!” New Politics, The 1975, and Hands are all getting big spins from space. Who? WHAT?

I flipped over to Alternative Station Two and it’s mostly the same shit, different day. I heard Rachel Maddow on their rambling on and on about bands that will be gone in three years and cool house parties in Brooklyn. Really compelling radio. They’re playing a band called Diarrhea Planet! Diarrhea Planet, I shit you not! All right I just listened to “Separations” by Diarrhea Planet and it’s not that bad.  But, the rest of their “top” songs sound like the balls I mentioned earlier. As I’m writing this they’re playing a band called Chvrches… real cleaver. If Yaz ever goes out on tour, Chvrches would definitely open. 

Broadcast radio isn't much better. Over on the Alternative charts Fall Out Boy and that turd band Twenty One Pilots are in the top ten! This is Alternative Music today? Paul Westerberg would be spinning in his fucking grave… if he were dead.

And the irony of the whole thing is New York City doesn't even have a station playing Alternative music because if it did, I'd be the first guy to try and get a job there. Try and shake things up from the inside. 

Today’s three bands all represent a few key elements that I believe can resurrect Alternative Rock, or at least give me something to fucking cling on to.

Mix up Bad Religion’s social conscious with Refused’s fucking innovation, then throw in some Virginmary’s raw Rock sound and propensity for not sounding like a pack of pussies and we might just have something. I dunno, maybe? Am I all alone in thinking this way? Cause, I feel like I’m the only man stranded on Whatthefuck Island waiting for the next cycle of awesome.

This is probably my favorite album from Bad Religion and I don’t care who knows. It’s their eighth and second for major label Atlantic Records. Its release found the band in a nice bit of turmoil too. They were getting accused of selling out from their dirtbag superfans. “Uh duh, we don’t like when the bands we like make more money than we do down at the gas station convenience store! Fucking sellouts! How dare you try to support your families and shit, ten years into your career. LAME!”

The selling out was the least of their problems. Founding member Brett Gurewitz recorded Stranger Than Fiction and then split! He said he was going to concentrate on The Offspring, who had just released Smash on Epitaph Records. (You all know Gurewitz founded Epitaph for Bad Religion, then signed with Atlantic, all while still running Epitaph and carrying on an alleged crack/heroin/I’m-An-Asshole addiction? Right?) So Gurewitz bailed, singer Greg Graffin hated his guts and the band’s like “here’s our new record Stranger Than Fiction, enjoy.” It was their most successful record to date!

Completely solid from beginning to end, I love “Incomplete” with Wayne “Fuckin’” Kramer on guitar, “Stranger Than Fiction,” “Better Off Dead,” “Infected,” “Television” with Tim Armstrong and how prolific was “21st Century (Digital Boy)?” It should be song during the 7th inning stretch at baseball games.

I wrote a blurb about The Shape Of Punk To Come for some rag I used to work for ten years ago, so why try to recreate brilliance.

There’s a big fat line between what makes Rock cool and invigorating and what makes Rock uninspired dirtbag drivel.

King Of Conflict is the kind of album that fills me with hope for the future. Maybe I’m not alone in wanting to blow up the status quo and usher in a new era of Alternative Rock!

Listen to this album on repeat. That’s what I've been doing.

I think The Virginmarys sum it all up nicely on the AC/DC influenced “Out Of Mind,” when they sing “Everybody’s out of their fooking mind!” I couldn't agree more!

Go forth Virginmarys and fuck shit up for all of us who were waiting for you! Call up The Bronx and take them with you!