6.10.13

On June 10th I listened to The Tubes The Tubes and Savages Silence Yourself.

I’m pretty sure up until I listened to this album I only knew The Tubes’ 1983 hit “She’s A Beauty,” and I would have been pretty happy with just knowing that.

The only other thing I knew about the tubes going into this album was a story I had heard many years ago from a co-worker. Back in the early 90’s I used to work as a waiter at Uncle Joe’s Diner in beautiful Hamburg, NY. One day while having a smoke break, one of the cooks and I started shooting the shit about concerts and I was telling the cook about the My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult show I had just seen the night before.

While the Thrill Kill Kult were performing their song “Kooler Than Jesus” (I don’t know what they ever had against the letter C, but they sure seemed to have hated it.) a topless young lady resembling Jesus, beard and long brown hair, was paraded out onto the stage. It wasn't until they started affixing her to a giant wood cross that I noticed a dildo was hanging out of her only piece of wardrobe, a rather disgusting looking loincloth. She just kind of hung out there for most of the song and at some point a member of the band went over and began sucking on the dildo. I was with my friend Joe Bagodonuts and I remember leaning over to him and saying, “some people might be offended by that.” He said, “Ya think?”

The cook didn't bat an eye at this story and shared with me an anecdote from a Tubes’ performance she had seen many years before in the late 70’s. Apparently The Tubes were an androgynous bunch that wore extravagant customs on stage and messed around with some pretty lavish theatrics during their performances. To me, sometimes that’s a great indicator that the music blows. Not always.

The cook explained that during the bridge of the first song, the singer nonchalantly walked over to the keyboard player and started to “suck his dick.” This was met with an open mouthed, “Really?” from me.  She confirmed that she saw a dick going into a mouth, but I still remain a little skeptical of that. I don’t think the police would have allowed the Memorial Auditorium to become the scene of a hardcore sex show thank you very much.

So, based on that story and only knowing “She’s A Beauty” I kind of formulated this idea of what I thought The Tubes were all about.

Listening to their self-titled debut record, I couldn't have been more wrong. It’s fucking Prog Rock. I hate Prog Rock.

One minute they sound like Steely Dan, I guess, the next they’re singing in Spanish, and then “White Punks On Dope” doesn't sound half as cool as its name. Plus, there's a weird vibe running throughout this record. It's completely dated, but like from an alternate universe. Everything they're doing sounds like it was hip, but just not on this planet. Does that make any sense? 

Me not liking this album is the epitome of the often too rare occasion when I’m too young to “get it.” 

Unless somebody can convince me otherwise, I won’t be listening to anything from The Tubes again, unless “She’s A Beauty” pops up on my 80’s playlist.

Sorry for all the cocksucking talk in this review… if we can even call it a review.

Speaking of cocksuckers, whoever was responsible for hyping this fucking band should be sent to bed without giving anybody a blowjob.

I started seeing them pop up in NME sometime this spring, so I guess they’re responsible. When I was putting together the June playlist, I saw their debut had just come out and put them on the list. And how they hell did they get the name Savages? Nobody of any note was Savages already?

If it was 1986, I was fifteen, this was my older sister’s band, they practiced in the garage in skimpy tank-tops, and I got to stare at their boobs for an hour a night, then I might be interested in Savages. But it’s not, I’m not, they aren't, they don’t, and there isn't a decent rack between the four of them. They really don’t come across as a particularly feminine bunch. And that’s cool, man.

They got a frog singer who does her best to sound like Karen O. here and there, and she’s got a thing for missing face parts. The band is kind of tight, I really enjoy the sound, but the songs don’t do much for me.

I thought, perhaps, this is one of those bands where the charm is buried in the lyrics. Wickedly thrown bon mots tucked into every verse, cause there’re really no choruses here. Each quip resonating throughout their fanbase like a brutally shared experience.  You know, like when broads start howling during  their favorite lines at an Ani Difranco show? 

“The world’s a dead sorry hole,” was pretty much all that resonated with me. I’m pretty sure “the world” is an analogy for some lady’s vagina, but I’m awful at lyrical interpretation. I don’t think I ever noticed the word “anal” in “analogy.” So, maybe this was a vaginalogy? Get it? No? Too dumb?

Thank you. Good night!

(And Brad Maybe exits the stage to the hum of a million crickets.)

6.7.13

On June 7th I listened to Slayer Seasons In The Abyss and Primal Scream More Light.

R.I.P. Jeff Hanneman – January 31, 1964 – May 2, 2013.

Jeff wrote some of the best Slayer songs. The title track and opener for Seasons In The Abyss, “War Ensemble,” as well as “Raining Blood,” and “Angel Of Death.”

I’m not the biggest Metal fan in the world, but when I’m in the mood. Slayer is always there.

I haven’t listened to Seasons In The Abyss in while and when I hear it, it reminds me of my friend Kevin Boyce. Kevin is a one of those guys that loves Metal and also has an appreciation for a lot of good music. We used to go around and around about bands, but always had so much common ground it was tough to just dismiss each other’s tastes. He helped me find my inner Metalhead and I’m pretty sure he doesn't give a fuck about anything I ever played for him.

In October of 2003, Kevin and I went to see Slayer at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City. They were being supported by Hatebreed and Arch Enemy. I like one Hatebreed song, and the chick from Arch Enemy made their set entertaining. We watched the openers from the comfort of the balcony with easy access to a bar, but right before Slayer was to take the stage we decided to hit the pit.

I was wearing a red Foo Fighters hoodie and jeans. It was about 150 degrees on the floor and once Slayer started we just set ourselves a drift in the sea of Metal. This is the last time, in my adult life that I’m in a pit of any kind of consequence. The watch I was wearing was lost. A sacrifice to the Gods of Metal, I guess. I was punched in the face a couple of times, I helped up as many people as I knocked down, and I left the show a soaking wet ball of sweat. Afterwards Kevin and I tried to get tattoos down in SoHo but where refused because we didn't have an appointment. So, we hopped in a cab and went to a titty bar, where we ran out on a $500 bar tab. Retribution for my lost $50 watch! Metal, huh?

Oh, and Seasons In The Abyss is fucking perfect.  

I can’t believe I've been listening to Primal Scream for 22 years! I didn't get wind of them until their wonderful 1991 album Screamadelica and have been a half-assed fan every since.  Screamadelica and Give Out But Don’t Give Up are my favorites and “Rocks” from the latter has remained a staple in my mp3 players since the turn of the century. 

Their whole discography is rather spotty to me. I've missed a couple albums here and there, but I really dug 2006’s Riot City Blues. I also chose to ignore Bobby Gillespie’s “political musings.” I’m not even really 100% sure what his deal is, but aren't all the “great” ones crazy?

More Light comes in with a nine minute bang called “2013” which harks back to the 80’s for a horn based pop sound with a pretty epic chorus to match the epic magnitude of the track. I love it!

The following seven minute jam, “River Of Pain,” starts off rather blandly and turns into a movie score/noise mashup that pretty much begs you to skip it or just stop listening to the album. I skip it. 

“Culturecide” is pretty much an ode to Pop Will Eat Itself and doesn't suck, but doesn't really land either. There’s still ten more tracks to go, so I’m not going to bore you or me with a track-by-track here.

To me, Primal Scream has never been a full album kind of band. You cherry pick the good shit and fly through the rest.

“Elimination Blues” is kind of the rest of the good stuff here. “It’s Alright, It’s OK” really wants to be this big number to end the disc and it’s OK, but it’s no anthem. 

Up next... I listen to The Tubes The Tubes and Savages Silence Yourself. 

Check out the rest of the June Playlist. 

6.6.13

On June 6th I listened to Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and The National Trouble Will Find Me.

I was expecting this album to be a treasure chest filled with all these great Elton John songs that I never heard or haven’t heard since I was a kid. I initially thought that wasn't the case, but I found myself becoming more involved with Goodbye Yellow Brick Road after about three spins.

I could listen to “Bennie And The Jets,” on repeat for a week straight before I’d start to get sick of it.

“She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit… you know I read it in a mag-a-zeeen Ohhhh Hooooo!”

Fuckin’ A! I’m sure it goes without saying that when I was a kid, I thought he was saying she had electric “boobs.” What would you even do with electric boobs? Well, I guess I have an idea. To this day, I have no idea what mohair is.  I don’t even know if I’m spelling it right. Regardless, I have loved this song since I could remember shit. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road came out when I was two!

Where “Bennie And The Jets” was something I have loved since I was a toddler, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” is something I grew to appreciate and actually understand. Another song I could listen to a hundred times in a row.

I found my lost gems in “Love Lies Bleeding,” “This Song Has No Title,” “Grey Seal,” “I’ve Seen That Movie Too,” and “Dirty Little Girl.”

And I still haven’t even got to “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting.”

I've been meaning to listen to this whole album for too long and I’m glad I finally spent some time with it! Thanks Sir Elton!

I was working for a little indie music rag in 2003 when I walked into the office early one morning to find several of my co-workers having a circle jerk over a copy of The National’s second album Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers.

They weren't ashamed at all and beckoned me to join them. I couldn't! Could I?

I dropped my pants and joined the circle. “What are we doing?” I asked as pulled out my flaccid wiener. “Shhhh,” was all I got from the circle of fully aroused co-workers. I was very uncomfortable, but figured I’d get swept up in the moment soon enough.

One by one, dudes started jizzing all around me. I was still wondering what the attraction was. Was I supposed to be concentrating on the music, or everyone’s euphoric gestures? They all looked and sounded like me… if I was eating a lobster tail. I was still working a wet noodle and just didn't feel like I was a part of the group.

It all ended quickly and everyone went scurrying back to their troll holes. I was left standing there with my soft meat in my hand.

Ten years later and I still feel that way about The National... absolutely nothing.

“Sea Of Love” gives us the utterance of the album's tittle and an apology to some guy named Joe. I'm assuming somebody in the band fucked his girlfriend, or his girlfriend only listens to The National. I expect a full apology on the next album. "Brad, we're sorry for every note."

The National have two speeds and one constant theme. "Slow and boring" or "really slow and boring" and I guess some people are into that. I’m into that sometimes… sometimes, but there're better options, like listening to a fan on low.

Having said all of that, Trouble Will Find Me does have some charm. I found myself getting swept up by "Don't Swallow The Cap" and there's something deeper in the shallowness of "Hard To Find." (Yes, I just wrote that.)

Let me hear a song like "The Last Time," however, and my well-used boxer briefs start wadding up in a bunch deep in my crack. It's less fun for the people in my vicinity, then it is for me.

But, I do promise not to bitch at all when “everyone” picks this to be the album of the year, or if it wins a Grammy.

If I decide to kill myself for any reason, I’ll throw a National reference in my suicide note just to fuck with everyone. “He hated The National,” they’ll all say. Or did I? If one person I know actually spends any time listening to their albums looking for clues, I’d be so happy to know I fucked with someone from the grave. It’ll probably be Barrie. Good luck with that.

Up next... I listen to Slayer and the new one from Primal Scream.

Check out the rest of the June Playlist, if you dare!

6.5.13

On June 5th I listened to “Weird Al” Yankovic Dare To Be Stupid and Daft Punk Random Access Memories.

A few years ago I was in L.A. to produce Grammy coverage for a radio station I was working for in New York City. The Grammys have a media day on the Saturday before the broadcast and a hundred radio stations set up in a big room and wait for big stars and nobodies to drift around and talk to whoever is interested in their bullshit. It’s a long day, but there’s catering and you usually do get a couple cool interviews.

Towards the end of the day, one of the talent wranglers asked me if we’d be interested in “Weird Al” coming over. “FUCKING A!” was all I said and ten minutes later, there he was! I initially thought the two hosts of the show would give me some kind of shit for asking for “Weird Al,” but they were happy to have him. The interview went great and afterwards as we were taking pictures, I was like a little girl meeting that harry cunt from One Direction.

I was 12-years-old when “Weird Al” came into my life with “My Bologna,” “Ricky” and “Another One Rides The Bus.” I loved that somebody was skewering a bunch of songs that I had heard on the radio or watched on MTV way too many times! It was my first lesson in “building up and tearing down,” and I loved it! “Weird Al” was doing it in a G Rated format, but he was having a lot of fun poking at Rock stars.

A year later my mother was busting into my room to tell me to stop listening to “Eat It,” over and over again. “Weird Al” was a big part of my childhood and I followed his career for many years. I love his movie UHF, and still get down to his music once in a while.

Meeting him was definitely a treat and I wanted a cool picture to document the occasion. I've met a few Rock stars in my career and I got sick of boring pictures, so I usually ask if we could do a simple pose to make it more interesting. I told “Weird Al” I’d love to do something fun and asked if he’d pose like he’s really pissed off at me. “Oh, yeah! Definitely!” he said in his “Weird Al” voice. A little pee came out when he said that. The picture is one of my all-time favorites with a Rock star. 

I remember every song on Dare To Be Stupid, even though I may not have heard a lot of them in years. This was probably my last really big hooray with “Weird Al.” I was getting older and by 1985 I still liked him, but I was discovering a world of new music and wasn't sitting in my room listening to his songs on repeat anymore.

The Devo inspired “Dare To Be Stupid” is brilliant! “I Want A New Duck” is still unbearably lame. The Polka medley is inspired! “Like A Surgeon,” and “Yoda” are classics I still think about when I hear “Like A Virgin” and “Lola.” A couple of years ago I tried to eat five McRib sandwiches while listening to “Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch.” 

Dare To Be Stupid is me at puberty! It reminds me of that delicate time in the 80’s when I came of age. I was painfully immature, I just started getting some real pubes, I was a “Weird Al” fan, and I spent a lot of time desperately trying to get hand jobs from 14-year-old girls. Thank you “Weird Al!” You wrote the soundtrack to my burgeoning adulthood!

Here’s a dumb story. In the spring of 1988, I was a junior in high school and two of my best buds where Joe Bagodonuts and Judas Iscariot. (Not THE Judas Iscariot. Two years later he would give my girlfriend crabs, she would give it to me and somehow I would get blamed for catching them in the first place! So, he became known as Judas. Yes, I had crabs once! FUCK YOU!)

Regardless, Joe was only a sophomore and was recently dumped by a senior he was dating. At the time, Joe was a dopey pretty boy and the girl banged him a few times and dumped him in preparation for all the college dick she was going to get the following fall. God bless.

Joe wasn't handling the breakup well and was determined to win “Candice” back! One night while Joe, Judas and I were chilling at Joe’s house on a Friday night, he concocted a plan to make a video to recapture her love. His parents were out for the night, so we drank a few beers and made a set in his bedroom. Joe had a canopy bed in his room and we wrapped the whole thing up with white sheets. We set up the VHS camcorder at the foot of the bed and started shooting.  

In a pair of acid wash jeans, a loose fitting white tank top, and an awful teenage mustache, Joe laid on his bed and lip-synched “Careless Whisper” by Wham! It was fucking priceless! I still see it in my head. He was really selling it too! I believed he was never gonna dance again. He nailed it. The whole thing was touching and fucking hysterical.

I think he did three takes and each one was better than the last. After he was done, Judas decided he wanted to make a video for the pig he was dating. I say she was a pig because two years later, I’m 99% sure she was the source of the crabs that Judas gave to my girlfriend and she gave to me! Pffft! Anyway, Judas lip-synched a moving version of The Righteous Brothers “You've Lost That Loving Feeling,” for his little pig girlfriend. Given the material his video should have turned out a lot better than Joe’s, but his was cringe worthy without the ironic humor. 

I wasn't about to be let out of the whole thing, so I decided to make a video too. I had just broke up with a girl I had started dating that fall and decided for my video I was going to do  “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “One More Minute.” It’s a very moving break up song about all the things a man would rather do than spend one more minute with an awful ex-girlfriend who has already moved on. My favorite line of the song is “I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue, then spend one more minute with you.” Having picked my song, I put a jock strap on my head, hopped onto the bed and fired up the song. Once we got rolling, Joe and Judas started throwing everything in Joe’s room onto the bed. When they ran out of stuff, they started scouring the house and as the song came to its crescendo I was dodging a toaster, all the laundry that was in the dryer, and several two liter bottles of soda. I actually thought the whole thing was hysterical.

We eventually talked Joe out of ever showing “Candice” his video because she already didn't like him and that would definitely make it worse. Regretfully, Joe erased the whole tape and all that brilliance is gone forever! Believe me, if I had the tape it would have been online years ago!

Let me get this straight; a couple of frogs are bringing back Disco and the whole fucking planet is buying into it? Great. I believe it was Harvey Pekar who first opined, "Why does everyone have to be so stupid?" 

Speaking of stupid, here’s how ignorant I am about Daft Punk. I had no idea they guarded their identities like Kiss did back in the day. Apparently, some loser band posted a picture online of the “robots” without their helmets on the other day and it caused a big stink. (Get it? Stink? They're French.) Regardless, who cares? 

Whenever I listen to an unbelievably hyped album like this I think, “what’s the big deal?” The international hit lead single “Get Lucky” is all right, I get it. It's no "Hey Ya!" Am I right? I dunno, maybe? 

The disc's opener is the call to arms! "Give Life Back To Music," might as well  just be called "Disco Or Die." Is this a joke? Am I missing something? “The Game Of Love” and “Within” sound like porno music for robots. Boring robots that leave their socks on, only do it in one position and there's definitely no robutt sex. (HI-OH!)

Why does the album take a nine minute dump on track three? Some old school disco Eye-talian talks about how important disco dancing in Germany was in the 70’s and a jumpy old school synth track builds annoyingly under him. It's no "Everybody Should Wear Sunscreen." Am I right? I dunno, maybe?

After Julian Casablancas embarrasses himself worse than me wearing a jockstrap on my head lip-synching a “Weird Al” song, I wanna quit this record, but skip to the Paul Williams track. It is a delight! "Touch" is like a time capsule dug up from the past when songs were crafted and sang with honest to goodness showmanship. Paul Williams is an American treasure! I love you Little Enos!!!! 

God bless Daft Punk! Apparently they just saved the world from certain destruction and I was standing around going, “what happened?”

Up next... I listen to Elton John and The National. 

6.3.13

On June 3rd I listened to Vampire Weekend Contra and Modern Vampires Of The City.

Quickly after Vampire Weekend's debut album was released, I wanted to punch them in their smug douchey faces! Everything about them was maddening! All the hype! All the preppie bullshit! All the selling out! “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa,” are you kidding me! “Oxford Common?” I wished somebody would beat the band to death with their own penny loafers!

During the summer of 2008 I was voice tracking a weekend shift for an Alt Rock station in Philadelphia and I was playing “A Punk,” at least once a shift. Thank God I was only voice tracking and didn't actually have to hear the whole song. I just listened to the intro as I recorded whatever dopey thing I was going to say. One time I had nothing of value to add to the intro of the song and said, “Did you know that Vampire Weekend was originally called Count Chocula’s Surprise? But, General Mills sent them a cease and desist letter, so they changed their name. Here’s ‘A-Punk!’”. Having stared at boxes of Count Chocula as a kid, I didn't even have to look up that it was made my General Mills. Just another shard of useless bullshit stuck in my head.

The next day the program director of the station called me and asked if what I said was true. He’s a real jokester. After I explained it was just a goof, he asked me to lay off the “wacky” stuff and keep it short and serious. I got told to stop having fun on the radio because of Vampire Weekend! Mother fuckers!

Then in late 2009, “Horchata” was released a few months before Contra was to come out. I couldn't have hated that stupid song more! It’s worse than anything on the first one and I hoped and hoped it would mean the end of Vampire Weekend!

Something funny happened when I got Contra in early 2010. I LOVED it! I was quietly listening to it for months and telling no one of my secret shame. It sounds like Paul Simon’s Graceland and what’s wrong with that?

“California English,” “Holiday,” “Cousins,” and “Giving Up The Gun,” were my instant favorites as I slowly grew to love the whole thing, except for “Horchata." 

Towards the end of that year “Holiday” was in literally every commercial on TV for two months straight and boy did they quickly make my shitlist! OK, just Target and Hilfiger commercials, but c’mon man! I left this album in 2010 and never looked back!

I still do secretly love Contra though!

When I heard the dumbly named Modern Vampires Of The City was coming out in May, I actually looked forward to hearing it. I watched one of the Steve Buscemi videos they made to “promote it” and was embarrassed for everyone involved. C’mon Nuck! You’re better than that! The first time I heard anything from this album was when Vampire Weekend appeared on SNL.

From the late 80's until early 2000, I used to listen to a radio station out of Toronto called CFNY. It was a 90’s Alt Rock powerhouse that has since become a boring turd. One day, in around 1993, I was listening to a new music feature and they played a really bad song that utilized the word “baby” about 1,000 times. Fuck, if I can remember who the jock was! I think it was a guy named Martin Streek, or maybe Dave Bookman, but I like to think it was Streek.

Martin Streek was on-air at CFNY for 17 years and I had a love/hate relationship with him. He came off a little pompous, but was a great jock. He loved music and had a wicked sense of humor and that definitely influenced my style as a jock. In 2009, Martin was released from his gig at CFNY. The home he’d known since he started working there as an intern in 1984 was ripped from his life. In an all too familiar scenario that has been plaguing radio stations for years, Martin was fired to save the company a little money. Two months later he died by his own hand after posting this status update, “So... I guess that's it... thanks everyone... I'm sorry to those I should be sorry to, I love you to those that I love, and I will see you all again soon (not too soon though)... Let the stories begin.” Some question Martin Streek’s motivation to end his own life and believe that his dismissal from CFNY was not the reason. He had new projects in the works and seemed to be moving quickly towards his second life. I like to believe that’s true, because fuck the bean counters!

So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. – John 2:15

So, anyway! CFNY played a song that said “baby” a thousand times and Streek, or Bookman, come out of the song and shared their philosophy about using the word “baby” in a song. I can’t even paraphrase what he said, but I definitely was caught off guard with a big chuckle. I couldn't agree more that using “baby” in song lyrics was generally awful business. Every so often a “baby” heavy song will come along and I’ll be reminded of that bit.

On May 11, 2013 Vampire Weekend was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, it was their third appearance. I watched in a weird catatonic like gaped mouth astonishment as Vampire Weekend threw around the word “baby” more times than a Justin Bieber encore. “Baby, baby, baby, baby, right on time.” Then Better Than Ezra did that weird vocal effect to his voice and dropped the word "baby" in what sounded like slow motion. Quite frankly, I was appalled. I have listened to that song a lot since then and I get it, but c'mon man! “Baby, baby, baby, baby, get a job!”

I particularly loved reading all the reviews for Modern Vampires In The City. I saw two that compared this album to the Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique, in that it was a huge departure from the band’s previous work and incredibly innovating. As I grow older I have come to embrace the older characters in movies I have loved since I was a child, and you know what? Mr. Hand was right! Everyone is on pot!

Yeah, Vampire Weekend didn't make Graceland II again, but it’s not that far from their other stuff. They just found new weird stuff to co-opt.

I've listened to this album a few times since it was released and it’s not moving me much in one way or the other. “Step” should be the next single. “Don’t Lie,” and “Finger Back” are both kind of interesting. “Worship You” seems like the best candidate to sell to Madison Avenue and the rest.

Next up... I listen to "Weird Al" Yankovic Dare To Be Stupid and Daft Punk Random Access Memories. 

6.2.13

On June 2nd I listened to Queens Of The Fucking Stone Age Queens Of The Fucking Stone Age and ...Like Clockwork.

Way back in 1998 I was working for a heavily consulted Alternative radio station in Buffalo, NY. Heavily consulted means they played the same 150 songs over and over again. I was the host of a Sunday night specialty show and for ninety minutes I got to play whatever I wanted, as long as it was new. The show was called Over & Beyond, I think. I don’t remember and I didn't name it. It was the highlight of my week. I’d put the show together and record all the breaks on Friday and then some dope that was working Sunday night would play it all. Where ever I was, I usually forced whoever was with me to put it on, or I just sat at home and listened to it. I was pretty proud of that show.

At this point in my life I was listening to at least ten albums a week, sometimes more. All the music came fast and sometimes shit slips through the cracks.

When Queens Of The Stone Age was released, I was sent a plain copy of the album without any artwork and a short bio explaining this was the debut from former Kyuss members… blah blah blah. I didn't know who Kyuss was and I’m pretty sure I've never actually heard a Kyuss album. I gotta fix that. Regardless, I hated this album. I hated the name of the band and just didn't care.

At the time, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Kidd Rock and all that Rap Rock bullshit were king and I was looking for Indie Rock that didn't sound anything like it. Queens Of The Stone Age had this stoner Rock sound to me and I just didn't connect. 

Some bonehead that was working the album to specialty shows around the country was really giving me the hard sell that this album was brilliant and I needed to spend more time with it. Plus, there was a group of people I knew that were all of a sudden Kyuss super fans. “Kyuss was fucking great! You gotta listen to this or that.” That’s usually a major turn off for me. My music snobbishness pretty much pushed me away from giving this album any time.

I’m sure I played “If Only” once on Over And Beyond and forgot all about it.

Two years later, I’m working for some radio/music industry rag in Philadelphia and Rated R comes out. I couldn't love it more! I spent the whole summer at the dawn of the century listening to Rated R over and over and over again. After about a thousand spins I dug out my plain artwork free copy of The Queens Of The Stone Age and it all made sense.

There’s a certain cock-swinging-swagger that encapsulates the Queens Of The Stone Age. A hundred different elements come together and create more than just a sound, style or attitude. It’s a fucking philosophy and the whole thing was realized right here on their debut album. I’m such an ass for letting it pass me by when it was released.

It was nice to listen to the first album right before …Like Clockwork, because it sounds like it was recorded at the same time. The similarities in the two albums is definitely noticeable and almost without a feeling that the band is just repeating itself. …Like Clockwork is now my pick for album of the year and I couldn't be happier that they sound exactly the same. And I'm just realizing right now that the name is perfect! Like clockwork? Get it! 

I’m totally stuck on “If I Had A Tail” right now. It’s hypnotic! “Keep Your Eyes Peeled,” “The Vampyre Of Time And Memory,” “My God Is The Sun,” and “Fairweather Friends” are all giants. “Smooth Sailing” is wonderfully creepy and maniac.

I now have to go back and listen to Eva Vulgaris and Lullabies To Paralyze  again, because outside of a few standouts, I wasn't a big fan of either of those records as a whole. Add to that the six years since Eva Vulgaris and I was expecting something good, not great from Queens Of The Stone Age. I couldn't be more fucking jazzed they dropped something that exceeded all expectations and is simply brilliant.

Up next... I listened to Vampire Weekend Contra and Modern Vampires Of The City.  

June Playlist!

After a month off from 2013 - The Year Of Music, I'm back with an all new playlist for June!

In the first four months of the year I had listened to 360 albums and wrote about most of them. It was fun and also kind of draining. So, I decided to take May off to recharge the batteries. I had also hoped to write up some of the albums that I didn't have time to, but that didn't happen. I got super lazy. I did write up Douche Bag Day and neatly folded a touching tale of young forbidden love into an Orb album review, but that was about it. 

I have decided to switch up the format for 2013 - The Year Of Music for June. Instead of listening to three albums a day, two "classic" albums and a new release, I've cut it to just two a day and weekends off. Each weekday in June will feature one "classic" and one new album.

I think back in April before I decided to shitcan May, I was going to make it "Anything Goes" month, but I've rethought that dumb notion and will not be doing it. 

In June, we'll catch up with where we left off in the discography of some of the greats; Led Zeppelin, The Clash, Van Halen, and The Replacements, check out some records I've been meaning to listen to for years; Elton John, The Tubes, Captain Beefheart, and Throbbing Gristle, and there's a lot of new stuff I'm looking forward to hearing. I actually believe that most of the new music isn't going to piss me off as much.

On the subject of me letting music piss me off. I'm going to try and listen to less shit I know I'll hate. For instance, I'm not going to bother with The Mowgli's because I know that if I listen to their album I'll probably die of an embolism or suffer a stroke. Fucking hippies with their pile on choruses sung by a pack of goobers! I'm in love with you shutting up!

PUKE! But, enough about that crap. Please join me for June's Playlist!!!!!

June 3

Queens Of The Stone Age – Queens Of The Stone Age

Queens Of The Stone Age – Like Clockwork

June 4

Vampire Weekend – Contra

Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires Of The City

June 5

Weird Al Yankovic – Dare To Be Stupid!

Daft Punk Random – Access Memories

June 6

Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

The National – Trouble Will Find Me

June 7

Slayer – Seasons In The Abyss

Primal Scream – More Light

June 10

The Tubes – The Tubes

Savages – Silence Yourself

June 11

Rod Stewart – Every Picture Tells A Story

Rod Stewart – Time

June 12

The Replacements – Let It Be

Beady Eye – BE

June 13

Hüsker Dü – Flip Your Wig

Jimmy Eat – World Damage

June 14

Captain Beefheart – Trout Mask Replica

Kurt Vile – Wakin On A Pretty Daze

June 17

The Dukes Of Stratosphere – Psonic Psunspot

Portugal The Man – Evil Friends

June 18

Randy Newman – Trouble In Paradise

John Grant – Pale Green Ghosts

June 19

Throbbing Gristle – 20 Jazz Funk Greats

Deerhunter – Monomania

June 20

Led  Zeppelin – III

Alice In Chains – The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here

June 21

Helmet – Meantime

Chunk! No, Captain Chunk – Pardon My French

June 24

Tom Waits – Rain Dogs

Eleanor Friedberger – Personal Record

June 25

The Clash – London Calling

California X – California X

June 26

Van Halen – II

Taddy Porter – Stay Golden

June 27

Duran Duran – Rio

Tribes – Wish To Scream

June 28

The Specials – The Specials

Empire Of The Sun – Ice On The Dune