Something happened to my music listening habits in the last few years. They basically went right down the shitter! Sure, I’m still looking for new stuff, but I get stuck in my “favorites,” and lately my true lust for the medium of music has started to resemble a cold dick… shriveled and ugly. (Yes. I did just say “lust” and “dick” in the same sentence. Calm down.) So, in the spirit of adventure and because I AM NOT AN OLD MAN, I have decided to make 2013 the year of music!
This is not so much of a New Year’s resolution, as it is an opportunity to get back in touch with music I have thoroughly enjoyed. To experience music I never heard and to maybe give a second chance to shit I despised.
How many albums have I wasted HOURS of my life listening to and haven’t touched in years? How many records have passed me by? What about the records and artists I dismissed as awful? Can I learn to love? I used to hate Brussels sprouts when I was a kid, now I can’t eat enough of those fuckers! Toss ‘em with some olive oil, shallots, little salt and pepper and roast that shit UP! What do the Asian broads say? Num num num num!!!!
Regardless of my love of winter vegetables, I have turned my back on what I have always truly loved… music! And in 2013 I’m coming back baby, and this time things are gonna be different. I swear!
I’m not one who enjoys tooting his own horn, but back in my day I really knew my shit. I did the college radio thing in the early 90’s and then hosted a “new music” show on a commercial Alternative station in the late 90’s. I listened to A LOT of fucking records in my time. I have forgot about more records than the average 20-year-old puke will listen to in his or her lifetime! I hate you and your youth! You’re wasting it. (Sorry. I get all worked up.)
Quick History.
When I was a kid in the 80s, I used to listen to the radio and even tape songs off of it. Yeah, cassettes! Can you believe that shit? From this point on there was always an ominous current of popular radio present in my life. That included popular Top 40 type music, Classic Rock and even Oldies.
Then one day I went and saw the movie “Krush Grove.” So I got into first generation rap. LL Cool J, Run-DMC, Beastie Boys, Kurtis Blow, Fat Boys and all those other mother fuckers.
Then a friend of mine went to England in around 1985 and came back with tapes of the Jesus & Mary Chain and The Cramps. So, I got started on the path of the “New Wave,” which basically became Alternative and that’s basically my bread and butter.
In my mid to late teens all my friends were in their Classic Rock phase and I spent a lot of time rocking out to all the bigs! Led Zep, Who, Stones, AC/DC and all the rest of those cats. (There is really only one guy on the planet that can use the word “cats” like that and that’s Slash. I am no Slash.)
I have to do a separate side bar for The Beatles. When I was 16 I started dating an 18-year-old… I know right? She was the chick in the story about my first job at Kayak pools? Remember? Whatevs. She had all The Beatles albums on vinyl and I taped them on cassette and would listen to them incessantly! I hold those albums very dear to me. Not only are they brilliant but if I listen to them in the right mood, I can almost remember what it was like to be 16 and have unprotected sex with an 18 year old girl. Do you realize right now, I weigh more than me and the 18-year-old girlfriend combined? Figure we both tipped the scales at 265. Food for thought. Yada yada yada… I fucking love The Beatles and have a very deep relationship with their music. Pun intended.
This is getting long-winded, so to wrap it up at some point in my early 20’s I rejected all that was Classic Rock because I had had enough! I was burnt out on that shit because I had heard it over and over and over. And everything popular just stopped speaking to me. I needed to find myself, my voice, my own shit and I didn’t want everybody else listening to my stuff! I used to relish listening to something in my car and my friends saying, “what the fuck is this?” “This is me, dickheads,” I’d think.
I started working for WBNY, my college radio station, and I simply became an asshole music snob. This went on for a while, but I mellowed and just started liking music for music and not because of some perceived coolness or whatever bullshit they’re still shucking down at Pitchfuck.com.
Recently, I started to think that maybe I was becoming too old for good Indie Rock. That what happened to my parents and their parents was happening to me. That what I thought was “it” was outdated. But then I realized that’s way off fucking base. I’m NOT TOO OLD to get it! It does indeed suck!
“Your honor, I’d like to call in to evidence 2012’s crop of Indie darlings. Grizzly Bear, Sleigh Bells, Best Coast and that bearded twat band without any hooks. All awful, yet they get all the press and they’re in every other God damn TV commercial." (Confession – I used to like a lot of shit when I was a 20-year-old puke. I did, so I get it. But my shit was better than your shit! And I may prove that this year with this stupid New Year’s Resolution!)
So, here we are! I was walking down the street and Led Zeppelin’s “When The Levee Breaks” pops on my MP3 player. I fucking loved every second of it and I came to an epiphany… I have ignored too much shit for too long, and I have become a bad music fan. Although on the plus side, I have given so much stuff such a long rest, it sounds April fresh to my hairy man ears!
My Resolution.
In the year of our Lord, L. Ron Hubbard, 2013 I have resolved to listen to three full length albums everyday. No more random songs, I’m listening to the LP! (LP stands for Long Player. EP means Extended Player. Just throwing that out there.) One album will probably be a Classic Rock record, but I wouldn’t exclude classic R&B, Top 40 or Oldies. One album will be a classic Alternative record from one of many genres. The third album will be brand new or just a few years old. Some days have a theme, but it's mostly random. I also wanted to make January about some great bands' first album, but some debuts just plain stink.
I will break these rules often and everything is up for debate. Plus, the order that I listen to these albums has nothing to do with rank of greatness or poorness. If you’ll notice, I’m breaking the rules on New Year’s Day. Three classics! MCA, I miss you much.
I would ask you to join me and let’s listen to some God damn music! And I’ll probably be writing a lot about what I hear.
JANUARY 2013 ALBUM LISTENING PARTY
1st
Led Zeppelin - I
The Clash – The Clash
Beastie Boys- License To Ill
2nd
The Who – My Generation
The Replacements – Sorry Ma, I Forgot To Take Out The Trash
Soundgarden – King Animal
3rd
Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers – Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
Husker Du – Everything Falls Apart
Deftones – Koi No Yokan
4th
The Beatles – Magical Mystery Tour
The Smiths – The Smiths
Two Door Cinema Club – Beacon
5th
Rolling Stones – The Rolling Stones
The Cure – Three Imaginary Boys
Tame Impala – Lonerism
6th
AC/DC – High Voltage
Depeche Mode – Speak & Spell
Hives – Lex Hives
7th
The Doors – The Doors
Jane’s Addiction – Nothing’s Shocking
Silversun Pickups – Neck Of The Woods
8th
Fleetwood Mac – Fleetwood Mac 75
Fugazi – Steady Diet Of Nothing
Frank Ocean – Channel Orange
9th
Def Leppard – Pyromania
Blur – Leisure
The Vaccines – Come Of Age
10th
Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols
The Stooges – The Stooges
The Adicts – All The Young Droogs
11th
Van Halen – Van Halen
Dino Jr – You’re Living All Over Me
The xx – Coexist
12th
Genesis – Selling England By The Pound
Pixies – Doolittle
Muse – 2nd Law
13th
Talking Heads - 77
Primus – Frizzle Fry
Beach House – Bloom
14th
The Kinks – The Kinks
Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
The Maccabees – Given To The Wild
15th
David Bowie – The Man Who Sold The World
NIN – Pretty Hate Machine
The Big Pink – Future This
16th
Queen – Queen
Nirvana – Bleach
Mark Lanegan Band – Blues Funeral
17th
Rush – Rush
Tool - Undertow
The Mars Volta – Noctourniquet
18th
U2 – Boy
New Order – Movement
Howler – America Give Up
19th
Patti Smith – Horses
REM – Murmur
Fiona Apple – The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Cause Fiona Is A Fucking Douche
20th
The Police - Outlandos d'Amour
Pavement – Slanted And Enchanted
Metz - Metz
21st
Pink Floyd – Meddle
Run – D.M.C. – Run-D.M.C.
Swearin’ – Swearin’
22nd
Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
Metallica – Kill ‘Em All
Ministry – The Land Of Rape And Honey
23rd
Bruce Springsteen And The E Street Band – Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ
Dead Milkmen – Big Lizard In My Backyard
Cloud Nothings – Attack On Memory
24th
Bob Dylan – The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan
Public Enemy – Yo! Bum Rush The Show
Japandroids – Celebration Rock
25th
Janis Joplin – Big Brother And The Holding Company
Liz Phair – Exile In Guyville
Grimes – Visions
26th
Jimi Hendrix – Are You Experienced
Buffalo Tom – Birdbrain
Green Day – Uno
27th
Alice Cooper – Welcome To My Nightmare
Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician
Green Day – Dos
28th
Kiss – Destroyer
EPMD – Strictly Business
Green Day – Tres
29th
Frank Zappa – The Mother’s Of Invention – Freak Out!
Slayer – Reign In Blood
Carly Rae Jepsen – Kiss
30th
Elvis Costello – My Aim Is True
Jesus And Mary Chain – Psychocandy
Cat Power – Sun
31st
Velvet Underground – The Velvet Underground & Nico
Sonic Youth – EVOL
Passion Pit – Gossamer
I will observe Black History Month in February with at least one Black artist a day.
FEBRUARY 2013 ALBUM LISTENING PARTY
1ST
Michael Jackson – Thriller
Rev. Al Green – Let’s Stay Together
Jay Z – Vol. 2… Hard Knock Life
I dunno maybe.
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