After Christ, the Devil comes! Anti-Christ Devil core! Those
were the two things I knew about AC/DC before I ever heard their music. I must
have been six or seven years old. I believed they were evil for a couple years
and avoided their Devil worshipping for as long as I could.
I listened to the American version of High Voltage, released
in 1976, for my first AC/DC selection in 2013 The Year Of Music. For all
intents and purposes, it’s their debut.
From 1987 to 1989 my friend Dave Mudie would drive me to high
school and we either listened to The Who or AC/DC. (He was a total dick about
driving me, lorded over the radio and cried like a baby, if I was running late,
and he had to drive the two blocks to my house to pick me up.) I am well versed in the AC/DC catalog and by
the time I was 18 I was engaged in more “Bon Scott Vs. Brian Johnson” arguments
than I had told girls “I’m not gonna tell ANYBODY!” I flip-flopped on the
Scott/Johnson argument a lot and almost every guy friend I had in high school
has smelled my fingers. (Fucking gross, right?)
I love High Voltage. “Long Way To The Top,” “T.N.T.” are
obvious staples. I always liked “Litter Lover,” cause it’s fucking creepy. But,
there are little things about this record that bug me. For instance, does “The
Jack” have to be six minutes long? I get it, it has a whole blues vibe going,
but it’s not that original and I like my songs about Gonorrhea to clock in
under three minutes. Smell my finger.
Did you know that Bon Scott played the bagpipes on “Long Way
To The Top?” R.I.P. Bon you glorious bastard!
Released in 1981, Speak & Spell
is Depeche Mode’s debut album and was named after the toy (If Wikipedia is
worth its weight in salt.). This is the one DM record that features Vince
Clarke, who wrote most of it, then departed the band to form Yaz and Erasure. I
can’t imagine if I’d be as big of a Depeche fan if Clarke would have stayed and
Martin Gore didn’t become their creative force. But that’s not to say I don’t
like Yaz and Erasure.
I have never heard this whole album,
I am never going to listen to this album again, and the track “Boys Say Go!”
and “What’s Your Name” will haunt me forever. Here’s a picture of what those
songs sounds like. To quote Seinfeld, “And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
I thought “Big Muff” had a lot of
potential after “Boys Say Go!” but it really didn’t go in the direction that I
thought it was going to – it’s just a goofy instrumental. Finally, “Just Can’t
Get Enough” makes it all better.
I didn’t want to say this at the
beginning, but Depeche Mode’s sexual ambiguity never offended me. I'll be listening to "Never Let Me Down Again" until I'm an old man, and you can definitely take that song a whole bunch of different ways. I consider
them as one of my favorite bands of all time. Gay, straight, whatever… I was
always in. But the synthy pop and super obviousness on Speak & Spell wasn’t doing
it for me. I’m glad I listened to it though.
I love The Hives. Why they haven’t
got as much attention since “Hate To Say I Told You So” back in 2000 is
retarded! Tyrannosaurus Hives and The Black And White Album had plenty of
moments, but Lex Hives is a Tokyo destroying Godzilla of pure rock genius.
“Come On!” starts it off and whips
it up in one minute. “Go Right Ahead” gets my dick hard. “1000 Answers” gets my
brain hard. It’s a song somebody should have written 20 years ago!
“I got a thousand answers and one’s gotta be right! Give me a thousand chances
and I’ll get it right!” That’s a fucking God damn smash hit record! Why didn’t
anybody hear it all year? I guess it has something to do with the record
industry’s head being up somebody’s ass. I dunno, maybe.
Buy this record or steal this
record and go see these guys if they ever play your town. I’ve seen them about four or five
times and it’s always been a God damn treat!
I am now, a little late, making
this my No. 1 album of 2012.
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