3.11.13

On March 11th I listened to Dinosaur Jr. Green Mind, Dinosaur Jr. Without A Sound, and Dinosaur Jr. I Bet On Sky. It was J. Mascis Day!

I stole my copy of Dinosaur Jr.’s Green Mind. Not from the internet, I physically stole it.

Back in my college radio days, I co-hosted The Trivia Show. It was a cornerstone in the All-Talk Monday lineup of WBNY/Buffalo’s Only Alternative – Brought to you by the mandatory student activity fee. 

After each hour long show, we’d have three winners and would have to fill out winner sheets for them. Joe Bagodonuts and myself would go to the back office of the radio station, normally off limits to non-board members, and call those assholes to get all their information. One night in February of 1991 after we were done making our calls, we were just hanging out, and rummaging through everyone’s desk.

“Wanna copy of Green Mind?” Joe asked as he unearthed a box filled with copies of the album under our Music Director’s desk.

“Fucking sellouts,” I replied because it was the band’s first major label effort for Warner Bros. Joe started to put the box back from whence it came. “Whoa! Whoa! I didn't say I don’t want one!” And a copy was flung across the office in my direction.

What do you think of that, Parrish!?

I was a casual Dinosaur Jr. fan up until this point. I knew a few songs and liked what I had heard, but that was about it. I fell in love with this album. I didn’t listen to my hot copy straightaway and the first song I heard was the last, “Green Mind,” while out drinking one evening. I made a mental note to listen to the rest of the album, post haste!

Do you know what the best part of Green Mind is? Low Barlow doesn't play on it! Eat my Sebadoh, Lou!

I used to be a little hack for a music rag ten years ago and I was charged with writing up this album. Here’s what I wrote:

God, I sucked ten years ago and I knew it, I suck now, but I think I’m awesome. Is that ironic?

If the Dinosaur Jr. purists were yelling “sellout” when their favorite band migrated over to a major label, then even the Dinosaur Jr. revisionists were calling foul when this album hit the shelves. I don’t fault J. Mascis for wanting to cash in and have a hit single. “Feel The Pain” earned the band a chunk of change and put the Dino Jr. name out there for all to see. But, this song is almost their legacy. Let’s say Mascis pulls several orphans out of a burning bus that’s about to fall off a bridge, tomorrow. All the news outlets will only mention or play “Feel The Pain.” Is it a good song? I dunno, maybe?

When this album was released I probably gave it at least ten listens to get into it. I never did. All I ever took from this album was the track “I Don’t Think So.” Now that’s irony, right?

I was whining on Twitter last July about having nothing to listen to and how hearing Passion Pit put me in a homicidal rage and I stabbed my balls with a bong poker. 

I looked to the sky and I asked the Gods to give me a copy of the new Dinosaur Jr. album early. They listened and sent me a Terrapin Angel by the name of Carlyn Kessler. She digitally sent me my own watermarked copy of I Bet On Sky. 

(A watermarked copy means it is personalized just for me. I can have it to enjoy, but if any or all of it ends up online on a peer to peer sharing site, I would have to wash dishes in the RIAA cafeteria for the next six months.)

On July 19, 2012 I got drunk, ate a bag of pretzels, listened to this album and “live” Tweeted my thoughts. Here’s what I had to say:

Finally!!! I am throwing on I Bet On Sky from Dino Jr. Got my vodka tonic, got a bag of pretzels… It’s shut the fuck up and listen time.

1st track “Don’t Pretend You Didn’t Know” has got a little hint of “Flying Cloud” from Green Mind and the cover of I Bet On Sky is all clouds!

It’s really blowing my mind. Is J Mascis saying this record is our Green Mind revisited? Cause I know “What The Corners” sounds like that LP!

“Watch The Corners” new Dino Jr single should be called “Sugartits.” ONLY compliant is it moves a pube too slow. It’s a Green Mind lost A-side!

#3 from I Bet On Sky "Almost Fare" - Sounds like summer. Lazy, steamy rock. Sounds like me trying to get laid 20 years ago. I dunno maybe?

#4 I Bet On Sky - "Stick A Toe In" - Slower, when I was hoping the LP would kick it up! J is in his lyrical comfort pool. "Can I..." It’s ok.

#5 I Bet On Sky - Dino Jr. A Barlow song so it sounds like dogshit spread on a dick sandwich when you specifically ordered ham on rye. Next!

"@RANDOMTWITTERASSHOLE: Annoying little kids drive me insane, I mean it when I say I don't want kids." JUST KEEP SWALLOWING! (Zing!) I DON'T KNOW U

Sorry. I hate when people retweet shit. I'll write something awesome & nothing. Then some d-bag gets a million retweets for "I'm ignorant."

@RANDOMTWITTERASSHOLE I don't wanna & I don't know what that means. Figure this one out - GFY. Now ask your dipshit friend to keep u off my timeline.

Lou Barlow really puts me in a bad mood. Back to 2nd half of Dino Jr. I Bet On Sky right after the C that doesn't want kids gives me an HJ.

Back to Dino Jr - I Bet On Sky #6 "I Know It Oh So Well" It flies of my stereo! Classic Mascis solo & vibe. I do know it well but its fresh!

#7 I Bet On Sky - "Pierce The Morning Rain" Finally the pace I was waiting for & the title lyric! First time I'm noticing Murph back there!

#8 I Bet On Sky "What Was That" I honestly feel every track on this Dino Jr. LP was perfectly named and so far this one is following suit.

#9 I Bet On Sky - Dino Jr. 2nd Barlow song. Sounds like a cat being put to sleep while three 14-year-olds in a band practice next door.

"@LouDPhillips: When an LAPD chopper circles over my house I expect a fugitive to clamber over my fence. DOES HE HAVE A YOUNG GUNS 3 SCRIPT?

#10 last song I Bet On Sky - Dino Jr. "See It On Your Side." Love the intro, love the swagger, best for last? No, just seems like a doodle.

I Bet On Sky from Dinosaur Jr. fits right in there with all the rest of the band's FUCKING brilliance! 2012? FUCK US ALL! I want 1991 back!

In conclusion - I have a copy of Dino Jr's new album that isn't out until fucking September, and you don't! Enjoy your summer, dick!

Decided to listen to Passion Pit LP one more time. 2nd song put me in a homicidal trance & I  woke up w/ my bong poker jabbed into my balls, again!

@FreakSceneNet Thanks for all the retweets! 1st listen of I Bet On Sky was a pleasure. Listening, uninterrupted, for 4th time & its BETTER!

I really zung Lou Diamond Phillips, huh? And seriously, why do idiots get retweeted all day long? I write brilliance and NOTHING! For example, somebody I follow tweeted, “My breath smells like a dragon’s ass.” Then I added, “And if Shrek has taught us anything that smells like Donkey’s dick! Bump it!”

Pure gold! Did anybody retweet that? NO! Fucking jerks. Someday, I’ll be dead and everyone’s gonna be like he was on Twitter? I didn't know that cause he wasn't on Facebook. Pfffffffffffffffffft!

In conclusion conclusion, I love Dinosaur Jr. and J. Mascis… TLA and BFFs. 

Look at how we've grown!

Tomorrow I will listen to the Beastie Boys Check Your Head, Stone Temple Pilots Core, and Django Django Django Django. 

Here's the whole March Playlist!

1.11.13

On January 11^th I listened to Van Halen Van Halen, Dinosaur Jr You’re Living All Over Me, and The xx Coexist.

I really have nothing creative to add to this one. It fucking rocks, I used to think David Lee and Eddie were the coolest things in the world when I was a tween. Only we didn’t call ourselves tweens, cause EVERYTHING didn’t have a stupid fucking name back then. We didn’t go on “playdates” either! That’s why today’s kids are all fucked in the head. Regardless…

“Runnin’ With The Devil,” “Jaimie’s Cryin'," and “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love!” are giants. God damn, did Van Halen hate the letter G, or what?

Seven of the eleven tracks on this 1978 debut will be getting played on the radio, or whatever the radio equivalent is until my generation is wiped off the face of the earth! Should be at least another fifty years or so.  

I missed this record! I think I stayed away from it as long as I did, because all the hits on this album are radio staples and Classic Rock radio beat them to a bloody pulp over the past thirty years! Think about that... there are mindless dopes who have been listening to songs from this album almost everyday for the past thirty years!

Let’s do an experiment! I’m going to pick Classic Rock radio stations in three cities, right off the top of my head. Detroit (WRIF), Buffalo (WGRF) and Philadelphia (WMMR) (Coincidentally I have lived in two of those towns. And technically MMR isn't a Classic Rock station.) I am now going to look at those station’s playlists for the 6pm hour on Friday January 25 - cause it’s a good weekday drive hour. Here we go!

1. WRIF/Detroit  – Second song in the 6pm hour was “Jaimie’s Cryin’.”

2. WGRF/Buffalo – Did NOT play VH in 6pm hour, BUT did play “Dancing In The Street” in the 5pm hour. (Do you think it killed VH to have to put the G at the end of Dancing, cause it’s not their song?)

3. WMMR/Philly – Did not play VH any where near the 6pm hour. I should have picked WMGK in Philly… cause guess what? They played “Runnin' With The Devil” in the 6pm hour on that day.

Point proven. I basically just pinned the tail on the Classic Rock donkey. Keep playing the “sHITS” guys!

(If you want to see what any radio station played in any hour, you can go to yes.com and put in the station’s call letters.)

I have a confession to make. First, let me just say that Dinosaur Jr. is one of my all-time favorite bands! I love J. Mascis! I have met him twice and I own a bobblehead of him!

Here goes… I didn’t start liking Dino Jr. until their fourth album Green Mind came out! Don’t judge me!

I haven’t given much time to the band’s Lou “Dickbowl” Barlow period. Dickbowl was in the band for the first three albums, then went on to form Sebadoh and then had his moment in the sun with "Natural One, from the Kids movie soundtrack. Then he came back, under strong protest! I know and like “Freak Scene,” from Bug and “Little Fury Things,” from You’re Living All Over Me, but not much else, other than The Cure cover of "Just Like Heaven," and "Whatever's Cool With Me," but I'm not sure what recording session that song came from.

Listening to this album I could hear the band was pointed in the right direction and there’re some standouts for sure. “Sludgefeast,” “Raisans,” and “Tarpit” were all just missing a little something… a hook maybe? I’ll go back to this one and give it more time. I think I remember one of my college buddies really liking “In A Jar,” so it sounded very familiar to me. I dunno, maybe?

Then Dickbowl Barlow comes out and shits out the last two tracks. Thanks Dickbowl.

Minimalist whispering boring bologna! Oh sure the production and musicianship is through the roof, but somebody draw me a warm bath and find a dull razor, or just grab the toaster from the kitchen and plug it in.

I met this band once at a radio station I worked for. We recorded a twenty minute interview with them and I had the task of trying to find a one or two minute clip to actually play on the air. We never aired anything. Each one of them was a painfully shy little twit afraid of their own shadow and I wanted to throw them out of a window. Look at this picture and try not to think how cool it would be to just push them off that roof.

This is not an album for me. Seriously, what is up with those two? Are they a couple? And "ewwww!" Do they even listen to the bullshit lyrics they're singing? Pfffft!