Gavin Rossdale! What the fuck happened to you?
Remember when Rossdale was a golden God? He won all
the dudes over first with a Nirvanesque sound and by calling out his "asshole brother!" Who doesn't have an asshole brother? I don't, but if I did, I'm sure he'd be a total cock. Then
all the broads started to notice he was hot as shit. Bush enjoyed a solid three
album run right in the middle of the 90's and then he became Mr. Gwen Stefani. And that was pretty much that.
2011’s comeback The Sea Of Memories was a pretty solid effort and the tour that
followed was a super awesome good time, but at the end of the day, No Doubt’s
reunion got more attention.
I went into this listen of Sixteen Stone with the hopes of
finding a least one forgotten gem that wasn't a single and played a billion
times on the radio.
They pretty much picked the bones clean on this one.
“Everything Zen,” “Comedown,” “Machinehead,” “Glycerine,” and “Little Things”
are your money tracks. And what a collection of singles they are! Album tracks
are pretty solid, all just a pube short of being special. I vaguely remember
hearing “Alien” quite a few times, from back in the day. The 45 second
“X-Girlfriend” is perfect.
Lenny Kravitz! What the fuck happened to you?
At the beginning of the 90’s Lenny Kravitz was the coolest
mother fucker on the planet! Let Love Rule gave him plenty of juice! Mama
Said put him on the path to King Of The Badasses! Are You Gonna Go My Way was
his fuckin’ coronation party! Then in 1995 he put out Circus beginning the
long, slow, and painful to watch process of him pissing away every single drop
of coolness he had amassed. Just sad. Although, I will say I was pleasantly
surprised with his performance in The Hunger Games.
Mama Said is definitely front loaded, the first four songs
are slam dunks! The rest of the disc is relatively solid, with only a few trips off the rails.
Are you ready for this? Kravitz is working on an album he hopes to have out this year. He's planning on calling it Negrophilia. Yep.
The Strokes! What the fuck happened to you?
At the turn of the century The Strokes were leading a charge
to save Rock N’ Roll and they pretty much had everyone fooled. I certainly
bought into it. They played 45 minute sets and got into “fights” all the time. They were a pack of candy ass trust fund tough guys running NYC's lower east side.
Twelve years later, they’re
not fooling anybody. What a bunch of douches. Seriously? What the fuck is this
album? Seriously?
I can’t even tell who they’re trying to sound like from
track to track or why they would take a cue from anybody else. Here’s an idea…
try and sound like The Strokes! But, I guess those days are long gone. Was
there ever really a “The Strokes?”
I’m trying to figure out what the most useless track is and
I keep coming back to “One Way Trigger.” I swear to God it sounds like a bunch
of little kids are playing A-Ha’s “Take On Me” too fast on accordions in the
background.
“Tap Out” is a pretty good contestant. It sounds like a
never-to-be-released Passion Pit song with a Pink Floyd inspired guitar solo.
The coolest part about “80’s Comedown Machine” is that it’s
built around a sample from The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Eye.” Unless, they just
tried to steal that and hoped nobody would notice. I noticed.
Then comes “Partners In Crime.” It starts off wonderfully,
filled with promise and a hint of The Strokes of old. Forget it, it goes
nowhere. Dopey lyrics and certainly no hook combine for a creepy stroll down
memory lane? I dunno.
Is it me, or does the intro to “Chances” sound like a
reworked The Cars “Drive?” And does it sound like Julian’s balls got run over
by a car while recording this song.
Why isn't "Happy Ending" the last song on the album? Regardless, it’s probably the strongest song on the disc.
If they bother working a second single, this should be it.
Tomorrow I will listen to The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, and Big D And The Kids Table. It's Ska Day!
Here's April's Playlist!
