05.01.15

On May 1st I listened to The Tragically Hip Fully Completely and Everclear Has-Been Is The New Has-Been.

Canada has a lot of pride. They’re proud of their country. They’re proud of Wayne Gretzky. They’re proud of being nice. They’re proud of their health care. They’re proud of poutine. They’re proud of the way they tolerate the French. They’re proud of Rush and The Tragically Hip. And why not? I’d be screaming from the rooftops if my country gave the world French fries & gravy and “The Spirit Of Radio.”

The Tragically Hip have a long and storied history, but let me try and give you the CliffNotes. Cool guys only call them The Hip. In the early 90’s when everything was Grunge and Alt Rock, they were simply a blue collar Rock band. They produced albums filled with “grace” and haunting thoughtful narratives. They achieved legendary status in the land of Canucks and nobody gave a shit about them here in the States. (Unless you lived in a border town.) Then Canada pooped out Nickelback. Chad Kroeger and the boys sold millions of records in the U.S. with half the talent, none of the song writing ability and the moment The Hip should have enjoyed... passed. The world is a cruel and unfair bitch.

Back in the 90’s I hated when The Tragically Hip were referred to as the R.E.M. of Canada. It’s a lazy comparison and came about mostly because of their frontmen. Gord Downie and Michael Stipe are definitely cut from the same cloth, but dipped in completely different dyes and sewn into very different shirts. Where R.E.M. looked out at a modern world from old southern eyes, The Tragically Hip saw a continent and claimed it in the name of Rock ‘n’ Roll! “At The Hundredth Meridian” literally divides America down the middle.

Fully Completely is, to me, a love letter to North America. Not like Florida and R.E.M.’s south, but also not just Canada. This is an album for people who have lived through a few brutal winters. It’s the smell of spring on the first warm day in March and the promise of a short beautiful summer. This album should have been The Hip’s coming out party to the world – A gritty and sometimes fucked-up romp through the hidden recesses of a forgotten frontier away from the garbage bag trees… and yes, there’s a song about Hockey too.

I can barely find the words to describe what this album does in forty-six minutes. It is in complete communion with the entire country of Canada, I assume, and a huge chunk of the U.S. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Fully Completely is a Folk album, but I don’t want to say that.

First of all.. Black Is The New Black? UGH! Douche chills! It's like asking the number for 911 or making a joke about how men don't ask for directions. C'mon Art! Get your head out of you ass! Second, every song on this album could just be an album track from old Everclear records and nobody would notice.

Let me try and find the silver lining in the chunks of this puked up record. If you’re going to stroll down memory lane and see Everclear on tour this summer, and I would never fault you for that because I love a lot of their heyday songs, this album will serve two purposes. Obviously, anytime they play something from Hairy Balls Is The New Hairy Balls during a show, you can grab a beer and take a piss. If you're teetotaling you’ll be able to play a fun game; what song did they rip off from their back catalog to produce this new forgettable jam?

"I'll take a picture with you only if you don't bad mouth my music in a blog post ten years from now!" said Art Alexakis. 

I don’t want to sound like a fickle bitch because I've given bands that have done the “comeback” record shit for not sounding anything like the band used to, and now I’m giving shit to a band that’s just tried too hard to do that. It’s like Alexakis dug up the ol’ handwritten Everclear songwriting recipe and fired up the stove. This record definitely sounds like Everclear. Douche Is the New Douche is in the same ballpark, but it's like they wheeled out an old-timer who is too old to throw out the first pitch so he just cruises around the bases in a golf cart waving. I dunno, maybe? 

Having said all that... I do love Everclear. I always thought this song should have been a hit!

Tomorrow I listen to Unwritten Law Elva and Metz II.