11.05.13

On November 5th I listened to The B-52’s The B-52’s and James Blake Overgrown.

I was trying to think of what the modern day equivalent of The B-52’s would be and all I could come up with was The Dirty Projectors. The singer is a weirdo and there’re some broads in the band that sing in a glorious, yet bizarre, songbird fashion. But where The B-52’s have withstood the test of time, The Dirty Projectors are exactly what their name implies. To me, it implies a device used to show pornographic images to a group of mostly men who think it’s OK to jerk off in public. I don’t know where I’m going with that... I guess I just wanted to dump on the Projectors again. Remember this?

Good times.

You’d think The B-52's would have a proper name. At least it should be named after one of the songs or a reference from the lyrics. The B-52’s Planet Claire, or Rock Lobster. Dance This Mess Around would have been perfect. Or maybe, No One Has A Head, from "Planet Claire." But, for my money, this album should have been called The B-52’s I’m Not No Limburger. I was never a fan of the first album self-titled thing for musicians and I really hated when later albums were self-titled or if multiple albums were self-titled… with a few exceptions.

Released in 1979, this was an album that many of us got accustomed to on vinyl or cassette, so it has sides. I mention that because The B-52’s didn’t really have a whole hell of a lot to put on this record’s second half. The first side is derivative and simple, and yet it’s inspired and ground breaking. Side one of The B-52’s is the perfect example of a thing exceeding the sum of its parts. “Planet Claire,” 52 Girls,” “Dance This Mess Around,” and “Rock Lobster!” Hello!

If you have never danced drunk while singing along to one of the first four songs on this album, I’m afraid you haven’t lived your life in the proper manner. If you have never heard the first four songs on this album, then there is a 95% chance I’ll think you’re a tool… and 4% of those leftover are deaf. So, not a lot of wiggle room there.

Side two of this record has some merits, but I don’t even really like the Petula Clark cover. And I love Petula Clark! 

Which one do you think banged her?

So do Mick and Keith!

Over there in the United Kingdom they have something called The Mercury Prize. But, like shit over here it's sponsored, so it's something like Admiral Haliston's Cold Pubic Hair Wax Removal System Mercury Prize. Every year a bunch of music elitists fasten their monocles and cast ballots to name the best album of the year. Started in 1992, it was a solid alternative to the Brit Awards, their version of the Grammys, but by the late 90’s they fucked it up. Most winners are overhyped crud that nobody will give a crap about by next summer. Alt-J won last year. The fucking Klaxons beat Amy Winehouse’s Back In Black for the honor in 2007. Arguing that Winehouse didn't win one, defeats the purpose of the award, but c'mon man!

Overgrown took home the title this year and that’s the only reason I’m listening to it today. I was curious to hear what the English consider to be the best of the under crust best, the not-so-toppermost of the poppermost!  It sucks.

I guess it can’t be a coincidence, but it’s a little weird that a 25-year-old white kid from London sounds like Aaron Neville. I guess it’s not that weird, I just don’t care for it. Overall, this album sounds like James Blake's hair looks. He obviously spent a lot of time on it, but he even ripped that off... and poorly.

"Hey Paul! I reckon in the future, kids with no talent will just be ripping off our hair," opined John Lennon.

Wu-Tang Clan's RZA does a guest rap on "Take A Fall For Me" and it comes off dull and creepy. “Candle light dinners of fish n’ chips with the vinegar… with a glass of cold stout or wine or something similar,” he raps as Blake croons “He can’t marry her” from another room and then RZA is joined by a robot voice. Dull and creepy. I hadn't been that bored with a rap since that kid from The Streets "rapped" about English breakfast.

The only other thing I took away from this album is that getting laid on a rainy day isn't a good thing, or something. I dunno, maybe.

Tomorrow I listen to Blondie and Live's Ed Kowalczyk.