Hey Dickeaters! It's been a long time! So, I got a job on a morning show and I just haven't had the time or energy to write my stupid blog. But lately I've been feeling stifled and figured I'd pick up this blogging thing again.
This week's episode of Entourage was entitled "Hair" (The Sixth Ep of Season Seven.) and it was a total and complete pile of unbelievable SHIT!!! Infuriating in its gall!! How dare the writers of this once awesome show? HOW DARE THEY? It's like they pulled a rotten diaper out of the dumpster and poured its contents on the dinner table and said "we didn't have time to make anything better, so dig in jerks!"
This whole season has been toilet paper. (I'm really into excrement analogies in this blog.) But this episode was the cure de crai? What's that thing the frogs say? Kir di gra? (I'm in the process of Googling it. Ah, here it is.) Coup de grace! This episode is the mother f'ing death blow!
Quick recap for those who don't know... Entourage is a show on HBO. It follows Vinny Chase, an actor and his entourage. Drama is his has-been brother, E is his retarded little friend, Turtle is the completely useless guy, and Ari Gold, his truly awesome agent. Smoking weed and getting laid have always been very important nuances of the show as the crew deals with navigating Hollywood.
Having said that...
Am I really supposed to believe after watching six seasons of Turtle bang a countless number of Vince's castoffs, a hooker from the whore house next door and participate in a three-way with Drama, that he's never had a girl with no bush?! REALLY!!! In L.A.! And even if that's true, the sight of one would make him lose his wood?
I'm no freakin' playa, but I've cum across (pun intended) that phenomenon quite a bit since college! And I was in college in the early 9o's!!!! I had a front row seat for the receding "hair pie," to use a phrase from Revenge Of The Nerds. I saw it go from untamed, to the triangle, to the Mohawk or landing strip, to the Hitler mustache, to the bare minimum of what it is today.
And on top of the no bush thing, when did Turtle become a whiny little fucking bitch!!! This whole storyline with him and the Hispanic chick is a hollowed out pair of balls filled with warm piss and garlic served in a dirty ashtray!
Turtle has been in Hollywood with Vince for fucking years! He's pulled every fucking scam there is to get laid and thankfully we never actually had to see him do it! But in this "Hair" episode some fucking genius thought it would be great to show Turtle banging. Good call! Probably the same guy that decided to just completely alter the universe of the show and make him a ball-less pussy! Give Turtle his balls back!!
And take the balls out of the show's mouth while you're at it.
The rest of the episode was a basket of forced drama. Whatever was going on with Ari and the rest of the jerkoffs sucks! Why is E buddies with that guy he's working with? He's a total a-hole d-bag! And speaking of a-holes! Why the heck would you bring Billy Walsh back and cut his balls off too!
It's kinda cool that Vinny is now "dating" the porn star Sasha Grey and becoming a drunk, but that's about it. And in a nice twist in the end of the episode, we get to see Sasha naked and her full bush as she descended into the pool while Vince is passsed out. Enjoy the most G rated picture I could find of Sasha's "Hair."
But whatever you do... don't shop at American Apparel.
