Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Happy New Year Fuckers!
Random Correspondence: I've decided to share a few written exchanges I've had with people in the last few weeks, because I really have nothing else to share. Although this first one isn't exactly an exchange, because the asshole I wrote never got back to me.
SERIAL KILLER STRIKES LONG ISLAND! AMERICA BEGS HIM TO RETURN TO THE JERSEY SHORE!
Do you remember way back in mid-December when they found four bodies on the shores of Long Island? (I'm assuming a body or two a day washes up on that shore, but if they find four at once, it's BIG news! ((I think I'm being ironic here, because I'm making light of death, which is why I wrote the following letter, and I just wanted to use two parentheses inside one parenthesis.))) Regardless, four bodies wash up on shore, and the term serial killer got bandied about like a Kardashian ass cheek.
About two days later the Daily News published an interview with Joel "Living-On-My-Dime-And-I-Wish-He-Was-Fucking-Dead" Rifkin. If you don't know, back in the early 90s, Joel is believed to have killed up to 17 women, and was convicted of killing 9. He is currently rotting away in a jail cell upstate and we had all hoped the next time he was in the news, it would be because several other inmates killed him by filling his asshole with bleach. And then people would say, "Holy shit! That's the same way Jenna Jameson died!" But I digress.
You can read the interview with Rifkin if you google, "Dickbag news interviews Joel Rifkin." I'm not posting the link to that shit. Written by Simone Weichselbaum the interview is this saucy little piece that basically let Rifkin pull down his pants and shit right on every life his killings touched! The article was truly an unforgivable piece of sensationalism. UN-FUCKING-FORGIVABLE!
So without further adieu, I give you my UNANSWERED letter to Miss Weichselbaum.
Dear Simone Weichselbaum,
I felt compelled to write you today after reading your piece on Joel Rifkin this morning.
I’m curious. Who do you think the bigger pile of shit is here? The L.I. killer? Joel Rifkin? Or YOU?
How dare you give a voice to Joel Rifkin! After viciously killing 17 innocent people he should be rotting silently in his jail cell for all eternity. But you or some other soulless asswipe over at the Daily News thought it would be a great idea to let him have a turn in the public light and describe his unremorseful methods of killing. “Occasionally breaking into laughter as he discussed his bloody history,” you wrote! Oh what a time the two of you had!
I’m sure what’s left of a human being in you was boiling over with anger as Rifkin callously spoke of his crimes, but the asshole journalist in you was probably doing cartwheels all the way to a laptop to get this juicy story filed!!
I particularly loved how you pointed out cartoons were playing in the visiting room while you conducted your bloodlust interview. What a pretty picture you paint! Was the sun shining through the window? Was Rifkin wearing his favorite slippers?!
If Joel Rifkin has important insight to help catch a serial killer and wants to privately share that with the authorities, GREAT! However, the thought of him sitting around watching Family Guy and having a laugh with some douche bag reporter as he reminisces about killing is sickening!
He’s probably got a copy of the article pinned to a doll he made that looks like you! Given the chance this man would have raped and killed you! You gave him a voice, a couple minutes in the sun and probably made the next ten years for him a little more enjoyable! You truly are an asshole!
I wonder if Lorraine Orvieto’s family read your article this morning? I wonder if Mary Ellen DeLuca’s family was relived to see that Rifkin still maintains his sense of humor about her death!
Go fuck yourself Simone! Go fuck yourself! You’re not a journalist anymore.
Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year,
Brad Maybe
PS I wrote this yesterday and decided to sleep on it. This morning as I read it back I added more curse words! So I probably should have sent it yesterday. I actually got angrier. Later stupid.
And that's all I have to say about that.
SERIAL KILLER STRIKES LONG ISLAND! AMERICA BEGS HIM TO RETURN TO THE JERSEY SHORE!
Do you remember way back in mid-December when they found four bodies on the shores of Long Island? (I'm assuming a body or two a day washes up on that shore, but if they find four at once, it's BIG news! ((I think I'm being ironic here, because I'm making light of death, which is why I wrote the following letter, and I just wanted to use two parentheses inside one parenthesis.))) Regardless, four bodies wash up on shore, and the term serial killer got bandied about like a Kardashian ass cheek.
About two days later the Daily News published an interview with Joel "Living-On-My-Dime-And-I-Wish-He-Was-Fucking-Dead" Rifkin. If you don't know, back in the early 90s, Joel is believed to have killed up to 17 women, and was convicted of killing 9. He is currently rotting away in a jail cell upstate and we had all hoped the next time he was in the news, it would be because several other inmates killed him by filling his asshole with bleach. And then people would say, "Holy shit! That's the same way Jenna Jameson died!" But I digress.
You can read the interview with Rifkin if you google, "Dickbag news interviews Joel Rifkin." I'm not posting the link to that shit. Written by Simone Weichselbaum the interview is this saucy little piece that basically let Rifkin pull down his pants and shit right on every life his killings touched! The article was truly an unforgivable piece of sensationalism. UN-FUCKING-FORGIVABLE!
So without further adieu, I give you my UNANSWERED letter to Miss Weichselbaum.
Dear Simone Weichselbaum,
I felt compelled to write you today after reading your piece on Joel Rifkin this morning.
I’m curious. Who do you think the bigger pile of shit is here? The L.I. killer? Joel Rifkin? Or YOU?
How dare you give a voice to Joel Rifkin! After viciously killing 17 innocent people he should be rotting silently in his jail cell for all eternity. But you or some other soulless asswipe over at the Daily News thought it would be a great idea to let him have a turn in the public light and describe his unremorseful methods of killing. “Occasionally breaking into laughter as he discussed his bloody history,” you wrote! Oh what a time the two of you had!
I’m sure what’s left of a human being in you was boiling over with anger as Rifkin callously spoke of his crimes, but the asshole journalist in you was probably doing cartwheels all the way to a laptop to get this juicy story filed!!
I particularly loved how you pointed out cartoons were playing in the visiting room while you conducted your bloodlust interview. What a pretty picture you paint! Was the sun shining through the window? Was Rifkin wearing his favorite slippers?!
If Joel Rifkin has important insight to help catch a serial killer and wants to privately share that with the authorities, GREAT! However, the thought of him sitting around watching Family Guy and having a laugh with some douche bag reporter as he reminisces about killing is sickening!
He’s probably got a copy of the article pinned to a doll he made that looks like you! Given the chance this man would have raped and killed you! You gave him a voice, a couple minutes in the sun and probably made the next ten years for him a little more enjoyable! You truly are an asshole!
I wonder if Lorraine Orvieto’s family read your article this morning? I wonder if Mary Ellen DeLuca’s family was relived to see that Rifkin still maintains his sense of humor about her death!
Go fuck yourself Simone! Go fuck yourself! You’re not a journalist anymore.
Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year,
Brad Maybe
PS I wrote this yesterday and decided to sleep on it. This morning as I read it back I added more curse words! So I probably should have sent it yesterday. I actually got angrier. Later stupid.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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